The Mosher Pit

(I wrote this on Friday after the first day of annual council.)

Me and faith is a funny mix.

It occurred to me today that the chain of events that culminated in my break with faith had to do with mysteries of childhood being shattered. Two things happened between 1980 and 1983 that really messed with the stable universe that my parents tried to provide me. It’s hard to talk about them publicly, because I love my parents. It’s a very hard line to draw when you are a compulsive writer and honesty has an edge that’s painful to share.

But what I can share is that both my mother and my father lost their respective jobs during that time. My father spent a few dark years as a traveling salesman (when he was a psychologist by trade), and my mother was let go from her post as organist of the church I grew up in.

Though I didn’t understand it at the time, there was a dot.dot.dot that kind of trailed off after I was confirmed in 1982. I won’t go into the details, but I went from being the star of the christmas pageant and first in my class at everything to being a lost child who didn’t always do well in school and really could care less about church.

And today I saw the kind of kid I could have been, running around at Council being a young leader. It was kind of a shock, because in seeing that reflection of another Helen, I became her.

It was a beautiful thing. And yet it makes me sad. I am–fortunately–in a position to restore that balance to my life, but the more I find that my troubled relationship with my parents was what _caused_ my break from faith for 15 years, the more that anger comes back. I thought I had wrestled through all that during counseling–both the therapist kind and the pastoral kind, but I see now that forgiving my parents for what transpired between them and me during my teens and twenties is only part of the problem.

I also need to forgive them for what transpired between me and God.

Posted in Diocese of Virginia, Episcopal Church, Life, Memories, Religion by: Helen
5 Comments

(sorry if this posts twice; le email post earlier didn’t work. wonder how many posts I’ve lost this way.)

I have little money, and what I have needs to go toward buying a home. I’m sorry if that seems selfish. I do care about our causes, and I’ve overvolunteered in trying to make up for what I can’t contribute in financial resources. I have to cut back on that volunteer commitment, and I have decided to go from the ground up, rather than the top down, and as such, I am stepping down from all my leadership positions for the time being to concentrate on honing my talents for profit to win said home and for my church because they are really working hard to get the progressive message out on a face-to-face level through my diocese, which has a lot of red-state-ilk to win over.

I told you it was chintzy. I had about 20 minutes to slap something together and no art files, but in the end that was okay, because the whole thing laminated and mounted looks pretty dern spiffy.

I’m going to start making one of these per month, each with a bolder slogan (WTFWJD, for instance), and have a whole mess of them ready for the next march on washington. or perhaps just put them in the window.
That said, the DNC’s latest schtick is funny.

Special notice for Helen Thompson: You have been selected to
represent Fairfax, VA in the 2006 Grassroots Survey of Democratic
Leaders.

I’m going to add this to my CV. “Named Democratic Leader in 2006 by Democratic National Committee.” I’m not a very good one, but whatever.

Posted in Grrr!, Politics, Religion by: Helen
No Comments

As seen at Songbird’s place:

1) When you looked in the mirror first thing this morning, what was the first thing you thought?
Why are there so many zits on my forehead?

2) How much cash do you have on you?
$6.58

3) What’s a word that rhymes with TEST?
Best.

4) Planet?
Miranda.

5) Who is the fourth person on your missed calls?
Probably me, because I often lose my phone and have to call it to find it, but I can’t check it at the moment, because I don’t know where it is.

6) What is your favourite ring on your phone?
Bittersweet Symphony, by the Verve, because before I made it my ring tone, it used to get stuck in my head out of the blue all the time.

7) What shirt are you wearing?
It’s a zipup sweater with jewel-toned stripes.

What do you label yourself as?
See my profile description in the righthand column.

9) Name the brand of shoes you’ve recently worn.
It’s always Doc Marten or Merrell.

10) Bright room or dark room?
Bright over here, dark over there… chiaroscuro, I guess.

11) What were you doing at midnight last night?
Muttering that it was time to go to bed.

12) What did the last text message on your phone say?
Batty told me that it was loud in the bowling alley she was at.

13) Where is your nearest 7-11?
Hop on to Rt. 50, drive about a mile, turn left on Jermantown Rd. It’s on the right.

14) What’s a saying you say a lot?
Typically Anglican “I don’t know how I feel about all that.”

15) Who told you they loved you last?
My future Mr.!

16) Last furry thing you touched?
Cody, the owl-monkey hybird. I mean cat.

17) How many drugs have you done in the past three days?*
Caffiene, caffiene, and caffiene. I’m even birth control free.

18) How many rolls of film do you need to get developed?
4, and that’s been true for three years.

19) Favourite age you’ve been so far?
30 was very good. But 35 was also very good. Just different.

20) Your worst enemy?
My teeth.

21) What is your current desktop picture?
well, on the machine that isn’t using a default OSX background, it’s a goody one of the future mr. and me.

22) What was the last thing you said to someone?
I’m reading this meme aloud, but before that, it had something to do with flying monkeys and shiny things. Yes, we’re very strange.

23) If you had to choose between a million bucks and being able to fly, which would you choose?
Can I go with a half-mill and a Prius?
(The future mistermosher chooses chocolate, then recants and chooses beer.)

24) Do you like someone?
This is where I put in my standard “Who writes these things? 14-year-olds?”
Besides, we all know I have a massive and inexplicable crush on George Clooney and Rob Gifford.

25) The last song you listened to?
The theme song to “Star Blazers,” because that was tonight’s DVD, since the Buffy disc was UNPLAYABLE (Sob….)

*The future mistermosher says: These things are obviously written by teenagers when they are asking you how many drugs you’ve done in terms of days. By the time you’re in your 30s, you can’t afford them anymore. And if you’re in your 30s and still doing drugs, you need to have children and grow tfu.**

**I should note that several of the men in my life were not inclined to get their acts together until after they had children, so I’ve seen firsthand how the latter sentence works.

Posted in Memery by: Helen
No Comments

1. i have a real estate agent.
2. based on some preliminaries, we should be able to prequalify for a $200,000 mortgage.
3. And then I found this.

Very convenient to 66.

*faint* I love old farmhouses. I’ve lived in three. But to own one?

I know, it’d be a bitch to get any of you to visit us, but we’d make the guest room swank and not charge you for breakfast before you go exploring in the mountains. In other words, we’d be happy to be your B&B bytsches.

Not sure how we’re going to afford a downpayment and closing costs just yet, but we’re visiting the house and getting the reality check in early February.

Oh yeah, we have a real estate agent.

Posted in House by: Helen
No Comments

I’ve found a house we can afford. It’s way the heck out, between Front Royal and Middletown, but it’s a perfect starter home, and even with no downpayment and a 8% interest rate, we’d be paying what we are now to rent a small box.

This will be my first attempt at even considering buying a house, and it’s about an hour and a half from work, but it’s a mild bike-ride to the park’n'ride.

More searching found even more houses within the “what I’m paying to rent now” price range, though this one has the best access to the interstate and all kinds of improvement potential.

We’re going to look at it.

UPDATE: We found another house to look at. It’s in Front Royal proper, first left-turn off 340 after you cross the Shenandoah, is an 1800s farmhouse complete with wood stove, on 3/4 of an acre. It’s had some work done on it and needs a good bit more, but we’re totally comfortable with that, particularly given its location, size for an in-town lot, and, well, the ambience of a farmhouse with enough rooms for us to provide lodging for any itinerant friends who feel a need to get all Shenandoah National Park-y. And the chance to make it our home, our first home, our first real home…

Please, please pray that we’ll make the “first-time homebuyers” cut. We’re not totally prepared to buy, but we hate to miss a window when God is so clearly opening it.

Posted in House by: Helen
3 Comments

So it turns out that Charlotte Hays, co-author of Being Dead Is No Excuse, is a fourth cousin of mine. (My mom is very obsessive about genealogy, and that side of the family is very well documented.)

It also turns out that she is planning to visit Richmond next weekend. She lives in my neck of the woods.

It also turns out that I am going to the 211th Annual Council of the Diocese of Virginia next weekend, also in Richmond.

Mom called me tonight to enquire whether I might be interested in saving her some train fare.

Faint!!!!

Posted in Diocese of Virginia, Episcopal Church, Family, Random, Writing by: Helen
3 Comments

(Key: H–me; D–pre-spousal unit; K–son)

*wham, clank*
H: Was that the salad?
D (sheepish): No. (meaningful pause.) It was the pie.
K (hyper): what? what? what happened? (trying to find the scene in serenity we left D. off at last time)
H (comes around to look): Oh. Pie foul.
(The apples are piled under the bottom crust, the pie plate is empty on the counter.) It’s the pie that didn’t want to be anyway; the apples had tried to go south, the crust tried to be overcooked…
K: Is this the scene?
H: We’re not going to be able to watch it just yet; we’ve had a pie foul.
K: What??! (comes over, peers over counter, gapes)
H (leans over): this part didn’t touch the floor…(rescues a bit of the bottom crust)
D: Oh! You’re right! (helps himself to half the bottom of the pie, gestures to K) Want some of the pie that didn’t touch the floor?
K: Oh, yeah!! (this is his third piece)
D: Come on, H, you know you want to blow a few more points.
H: That’s ok. I’ve already blown too many.
D: (guffaw)
H: (realizes what she just said, only to look up and see K and D lifting their pieces of broken pie to their mouths in perfect synchronization): That’s just wrong on so many levels.
D, K: (crack up)
H: I’m writing this down.
D (to K): So is this your first pie foul?

Posted in Humor, LOLZ!, Oops!, Random by: Helen
1 Comment

I really hope they make the Book of Daniel available on DVD, because I always forget to watch it when it’s on. Tonight, I’ve remembered in time, but the television is already booked for a showing of “About a Boy” for son and future-stepfather bonding. And then they will likely overdose on Firefly episodes (sound of me mock complaining, Whedon-addict that I am).

It’s ok, I am making pie and knitting furiously. Son is listening to an audio version of one of the Redwall books. Why is just about every fantasy book read by a densely-accented Brit?

Posted in Movies, Random, TV by: Helen
1 Comment

Yesterday I got to work and realized I had gotten a smudge of MAC foundation powder on my shirt. This was all the more annoying for the fact that I wasn’t wearing makeup yesterday.

Today I had an episode of exploding yogurt. It’s blueberry, and so the resultant spot is purple, which color coordinates well with my striped purple-blue-and-white hoodie. But then I look down and find a smudge of indeterminate origin on one of the white stripes.

Clearly, I have no business being allowed in public without a body-sized bib.

Posted in Fail!, Oops! by: Helen
No Comments

I got this from the LJ crew, but I think the revgals are playing too…

Two names you go by
1. Helen
2. Mom

Two Parts of your heritage
1. Icelandic
2. British

Two things that scare you
1. Anything that involves eyeballs
2. Being in a room where everyone is looking at you but speaking in another language

Two of your everyday essentials
1. diet pepsi
2. yogurt

Two things you’re wearing right now
1. very old jeans
2. heh. a Damned t-shirt. As in, the band, “The Damned.”

Two things you want in a relationship (other than Real love)
1. A good picker-upper (which DFH is)
2. Monkeys, bunnies, and a whole lotta pudding (yes, as sick as it sounds…)

Two truths
1. I have too many books.
2. Chocolate.

Two physical things that appeal to you
1. Eyes (ironic, given my fear of them outside their normal habitat)
2. Backrubs

Two of your favorite hobbies
1. Knitting
2. Collecting recipes

Two things you want really badly
1. A house
2. A wedding

Two places you want to go on vacation
1. England
2. Williamsburg

Two things you want to do before you die
1. Get a doctorate in theology
2. Write a novel

Two ways that you are stereotypically a girl/guy
1. I’m a sucker for a sale
2. Praise babies!

Two things you normally wouldn’t admit
1. I wrote a song about sex when I was ten. It sounded suspiciously like a hymn, given that’s the music I had heard most at that age.
2. I’m a Christian. I still have trouble saying that, but it’s getting easier as time (and faithblogging) go by.

Two things you are thinking about now
1. I need more diet pepsi.
2. Where’s my honey?

Two stores you shop at
1. Wegman’s
2. Kohls

Two people you would like to see take this quiz
1. All your base.
2. My honey.

Posted in Memery by: Helen
No Comments