Quotable Doodlepunky

Published by Helen | Filed under Family, LOLZ!, Life

My husband is the master of misplacing things. I have my moments, but he’s an expert, and rather than embracing it he usually flies into a rage when Important Thing X goes missing. Now, some years ago, he did some freelance work that we had to have the check recut for because it went missing. In fact, it was so missing that I thought he had never received it.

He found it the other day:

Me: Where did you find it?

D: It was in that file that seems to eat paper and regurgitate it randomly into the future.

This is the kind of statement that sends me sprawling on the floor laughing, and D has the same kind of knack for it that my best friend Jenn does.

The long haul

Published by Helen | Filed under Out and About, Road Trips

I woke up this morning feeling run over by a truck. Apparently, I’m no longer attacked by the napmonster but am instead attacked by the “what alarm?” monster that prevents me from acknowledging that my alarm clock even exists, so for the third time this week, I overslept.

And in my zealousness to get to the office (ahhh, air conditioning: today is a good day for it), I got a little pedal-happy and found myself zipping along at 80 mph. Oops, I thought, and immediately brought it back down to my usual 68. At that point, I was alone on the highway. But I’ve long felt that speeding on 66 is an invitation to a hefty fine, and so I really try to slow it down.

A few miles later, I was being passed by two cars when we crested a hill and the most nondescript unmarked car I’d ever seen was sitting at the next turnaround. The officer behind the wheel looked up as the three of us went by. I glanced down; I was doing 71, so the people passing me were going significantly faster. They realized they’d been spotted and immediately cut over, one in front of me and one behind me, both slowing down.

But the trooper had pulled out and was bearing down on our little group. As he pulled adjacent to the car behind me, he slowed for a moment and I thought he was going to cut in behind _me,_ for god knows what reason.  But then he sped up again, lights on, and pulled over the car in front of me….

And the car behind me.

He must have signaled to that car to pull over when he also sicced the one in front of me, so I got into the left lane and watched all three cars go on to the shoulder.

For all the mornings I’ve cursed the people who push me down the highway because I drive the speed limit on my 50 mile commute even when I’m running way behind, this morning I felt really vindicated, but I was also painfully aware that when I’d caught myself doing 80 that my next thought was “Well, I’ll be that much later if I get a ticket.”

It’s like I summoned the speed trap into existence, or something.

No pretty dresses

Published by Helen | Filed under Random

Why is it that all of the cute knitting patterns seem to be for girls? I need to get designing because…

IT’S A BOY!

That’s right, in spite of the wonderful poll results that leaned heavily girlward, the stalwart fans of a male Mosher heir (as best as he can be, as third child after two half-siblings) have prevailed.

I joked to D. that given my love of the Neapolitan color scheme that we’d just have to adjust to the colors of chocolate, vanilla, and cotton candy.

Because cotton candy is blue, in my head.

Fingers and toes in the right place, spinal bones and facial structure accounted for, and a whopping 12 ounces at just 19 weeks (the books and websites all say 7-8 ounces at this point), it would seem that he aims to be a very healthy boy. We have a beautiful ultrasound footprint, too:

A Little Fun Before the Ultrasound

Published by Helen | Filed under Family, Just for Fun, Life, Pregnancy

Tomorrow, I’m going for my level 2 ultrasound, the one that happens at mid-pregnancy and where often one can determine the sex of the baby. If Dean can’t come with me, I’m going to have the sonographer write the sex (if she can see it) on a card that Dean and I will open together.

Because I’ve found that some of my friends have downright passionate feelings about whether it’s a boy or a girl, I joked that I would create a poll just to see if there’s a majority–all the old wives’ tests have pretty much gone 50/50 or been ambivalent.

So here’s your chance to “vote.” What do you think, are we having a boy or a girl?

Unblogged

Published by Helen | Filed under Life

It’s been radio silence for quite some time on this, my public blog. Nearly everywhere else that I write–and I have been blogging quite a bit–I do so anonymously or securely. So let me catch up what few of you who haven’t been keeping up with me on Twitter (now also secure, permanently, and not accepting new followers unless I recognize you or you introduce yourself) or Facebook: I successfully lost nearly 30 pounds following Weight Watchers and Jennifer Kries’ pilates programs. Still had about 30 pounds to go when I discovered, both to my chagrin and my delight, that I’m expecting. I haven’t been blogging about it here because this is the one site I know my parents can find and read, and I didn’t tell them until yesterday.

And a short announcement: All my public tweeting about Government 2.0 and my work at AFCEA is now at @AFCEAHelen.

Once I’m done with my school work for the semester (it’s all due by tomorrow) I’ll have several months to catch up with the blogosphere. But I will make an effort to start blogging daily again, even if it’s short or just metacontent.

Kitteh funnies

Published by Helen | Filed under LOLZ!, Pets

Because we need more dancing kittehs. Bring them on.

In lieu of content, I give you poetry

Published by Helen | Filed under Poetry, Writing

Did we dream too hard of Prussia, Prague and Paris
Did we fly too close to the happiness of Icarus
Did we melt beneath the fire of the things we felt in flight
Did we dream too hard of tomorrows that still pummel us at night
Did we speak too soon of things that never end
Did we promise little forevers to which we did not tend
Did we neglect to nurse from the fount which waters the Gardens of Eden
Did we speak too soon of dreams too hard and fears of things we needn’t
Did we look too far ahead to see the struggle of our present
Did we cave in to the world’s malaise of arrogance unrepentent
Did we fly too close and dream too hard: Did we really mean to do this?
Did we speak too soon in anger to know what the real truth is?

@ Helen Mosher, all rights reserved. Written Mar 2003 as a “first draft, because the meter took a life of its own.” Yeah, I should probably get back on that.

Cranky conservationism.

Published by Helen | Filed under Grrr!, Out and About

This morning, I was suffering in silence on the way in to work, biting my tongue to keep from being a backseat driver and annoying passenger. I mentioned it on twitter.

Among my complaints:

The CD that was playing was a bizarre fusion of funk, blues, and the occasional far-eastern riff. I didn’t dig it at all, but I wasn’t about to opine on it when I was half asleep anyway.

My husband has a tendency to mosey down the road. I’m a bit more type-A, although not a speeder. Still, when every single other driver on the road passes us, I get antsy.

This is even more true when we’re cruising at this speed in the left lane with traffic munching up behind us. I’m generally at least polite enough to get out of the way and, you know, keep right, like you’re supposed to.

So when I check back in on Twitter, there were a few people who pointed me to resources on why driving more slowly is a good thing when it comes to gas economy. Here’s the thing.

I already know that.

Do you want to know what I’m doing to conserve gas on the whole?

I’m incredibly efficient in heavy traffic, maintaining a ludicrous following distance so that I can maintain a steady speed in stop-and-go traffic. You’ve probably seen tractor-trailers doing this, but what’s really awesome is when you get several cars in a row doing it.

I telecommute two days a week.

I bought a car at the top of the price I could afford. It’s not a hybrid, but after 18 months of documenting my mileage I can tell you that my Toyota Matrix is optimized to cruise at about 68 mph, where it gets about 37 miles per gallon. I maintain it regularly, too.

The whole reason I was stuck with bad music this morning was because we were carpooling.

Oh, and D. cycles into work all summer, barely putting any miles on his car at all, by staying at his dad’s old house. In fact, he stays at that house during the work week year round, so that he doesn’t run up his miles commuting from the house we actually own. I could save gas by staying there as well, but there are limits to what I will put up with in the interest of fuel economy, and there are compelling reasons to not move into Dad’s old house.

But anyway. That’s a sampling. What it comes down to is that I appreciate the need to save gas, but we’re among the more conscientious of consumers in that regard anyway. The least I can do is put up with longer trips with bad music, but it won’t stop me from tweeting that I’m annoyed. More than anything, there’s humor to be had in these situations. It’s just that somehow, the humor seems to get lost in a need to say “Well, Helen, of course you’re wrong….”

Well of course!!!!! We all are!!!!!

Happy New Year!

Published by Helen | Filed under Weight Loss, Wellness, Yay!

I think it’s a quiet victory for me that I weigh 18 pounds less than I did at the beginning of 2008.

It’s the first year I’ve lost weight that didn’t involve a breakup.

No weigh I am missing this feast

Published by Helen | Filed under Cooking, Fitness, Life, Yum!

I cooked it myself, so on top of all the tasting and what not — there was just no way I was going to stick with weight watchers today. But I didn’t care.

I started last night making the dip for the crudites–mostly pita and tortilla chips, to be honest– with a chevre based dip chock full of roasted vegetables (garlic, eggplant and red pepper, to be exact). It came out middling–I don’t think I got the same kind of chevre as I did last time, and its flavor was decidedly more goat. Taste improved the longer it sat out, for some reason, but at any rate, I was too busy to partake and no one else seemed interested (more like it was invisible than the chevre chasing them off).

Got up about 8:30 this morning and set about the rest of the feast, which included:

Apricot-Dijon Glazed Turkey Breast with Roasted Sweet Potatoes
Sweet and Savory Stuffing with Cranberries (using cinnamon raisin bread)
Yeast Cloverleaf Rolls
Rosemary Mashed Potatoes with gravy deglazed from the turkey
Garden Salad w/homemade Balsamic Vinaigrette
Peas
Four-cheese Rotini Bake
Ham-boiled Peppergrass
Apple Pie

It went over smashingly well, with my husband actually saying it was among the top holiday meals he’d ever had. It’s also the first time I’ve cooked on a grand scale for company in years, and my skills are much improved–both cooking-wise and in my ability to stage things well. Had almost everything ready by 1:30 only to get phone calls announcing we’re running late, so kept everything warm in the oven while the rolls got some bonus proofing time. Some of them wound up looking like mushroom clouds, they got so big.

Probably to no one’s surprise, our christmas gift haul was mostly food-related, either on the up side (an ice cream maker, a griddle) or the down side (an Eating Well cookbook, a new Weight Watchers scale). My son got a wireless hookup for his xbox, so I’ll be lucky to ever see my TV again…